Colie's Site

Today you randomly came into my thoughts ... and now I can't seem to get you out of my mind. I miss your beautiful smile ... Im sure Heaven is a little brighter because of it!
ELR <elr@hotmail.com>
San Jose , CA USA -

in a place so far and so diefrent i send u my love i look at the web and even that never meet her it makes me sad and make me like her be strong and happy adi (i was looking after bordr colies web sites 0
adi bark
tel aviv israel, -

July 3,2006 Aloha Colie, Just want to let you know that you are always in my heart and thoughts. You were such a kind and caring person, who I was fortunate enough to have as a cousin. I will be participating in the Out of the Darkness Community Walk in memory of you. We have had such a warm show of support, for this cause through donations made by family and friends, in order to make a difference. I thank them for their generosity. Love you,
Malia
Los Angeles, CA, -

(Fri) 06/30/06 Colie, Just thinking about you today & envisioning your beautiful bright smile. Your family & friends will join many others, in the Out of the Darkness Community Walk - July 2006. The money raised will benefit people dealing with depression & suicide. We are all honored to be walking for this much needed cause, in order to make a difference for all of our loved ones like you! Miss You * Love You,
Aunty Tina
Folsom, -

my Colie..I miss you.and I am walking for you..and for all who have pain. I chose walk with your close friends in The Overnight san francisco in July to make a difference and to inspire a change. My hopes are that no more beautiful people will leave earth too soon. I know you will be there to guide us throughout the whole 20 miles! I love you, Brooke
brooke <brooklynz83@yahoo.com>
Campbell, CA USA -

i heard word of mouth a long time ago what happened. i left a card. i couldn't imagine what your family went through. most important, i remembered you. not as the beautiful woman you became, but as my old best friends' little sister. i still remember you, your sister, your mom and your dad. it's funny that i don't find myself recognizing your adult pics but only the little girl pictures where you were shoooshed out of your sisters room like only a little sister could be. i know whatever pain you felt inside has now left.
LA
LA/CA, -

Today marks two years... Let's not think of it as 2 years that nicole has been away from all of us but 2 years that we've had all of her watching over us. Today and always we will have her in our hearts. To anyone who reads this today, Hug someone close to you and tell them you love or care for them. That's the peice of Nicole I hold. She always made sure she listened and cared for everyone close to her. Nicole, your very missed and loved. We will see you soon.
Jina "Bean" Duncan
San Jose, CA, -

Hey hun, It has taken me awhile to find this site to be able to write you. We didn't hang out much but we did talk every once in awhile back in high school. You always had a huge smile on your face that even though I had it hard back then it always put a smile on mine. I went and saw you this past Monday to put a Christmas present with you, I hope you like the bracelet, I saw it and thought of you. We do miss you each day that passes but I know we will one day see eachother again. Please watch over us all and our prayers are with you. Love you girlie!!!!
Alicia Weaver
San Jose, Ca, -

Colie, Merry Christmas to my cousin in heaven, I truely felt your absence this year at Christmas. I hung out with your nieces and our little cousins instead. But,still it doesn't compare to our holiday conservsations that would stretch throughout the night,( I will forever miss those!)I hope you are happy up there in heaven, I know you enjoy being able to watch over everyone! love ya, Brooke
Cousin Brooke
Campbell,CA, -

COLIE- I AM MISSING YOU EVERYDAY IN EVERY WAY,AND THINKING OF YOU ALWAYS, YOUR UNFORGETTABLE AND IRRIPLACABLE YOU'LL ALWAYS BE MY FAVORITE CUZ.....LOVE YOU, BROOKE
BROOKE
CAMPBELL, CA, -

Nicole... you've been gone awhile, and I'm just barely getting to this site. I couldn't really believe what I heard, and right now its just barely hitting home. We didn't know each all that well, but I had at least one class with you pretty much every year. Concert Choir was proabably the class I remember you from the most. "Carol of the Bells" and all that. Even though I didn't know you that well I was around you enough to know how good of a person you were. Seriously, you were probably the most honestly kind person at Westmont, and I rarely saw you without a smile. Your smile always seemed genuine and could brighten a room. The pictures here can't do it justice. I'm not all that good with words, but I'm sure everyone who knew you will understand what I'm saying... The world was a better place with you here. And my condolences to the Michalski family. I can't comprehend how hard it is to go on without her after her being such a big part of your lives. I really can't.
Jon Range
San Jose, Ca, -

HAAAAAAPPPY BIRTHDAY LADY!!!! the big 2-2, WOW! Colie, you already know what I want to say becuase I have already said it to you :)member? But as always, i love and miss you so much. I am always thinking about you colie, everyone misses you so much. Watch over us...oh and have you and my had any pecan pie lately?? haha (inside joke for those that dont know).
Matt Knox
Campbell, CA, -

Happy Birthday Colie!! i miss you so incredibly much. still to this day i am shocked that you are not here, and i look through pictures of us all the time...makes me miss you even more. You are truely loved by so many people. You are so special to me nicole!
Ashley Carrothers
Campbell, CA, -

Happy Birthday Nicole! I know its been a while since I last wrote to you, but we both know that I make up for it w/ my prayers and thoughts! ;) I still miss you so much, and wish that I could see you for just one more moment.... there is so much that was left unsaid. If there is anything that I could have told you before you left us, is that I love you very much.... and that you are such a special friend to me. I value and cherish all of the memories we shared, and am so thankful for the friendship we had. I miss you. Love, Rick
Rick
-

(Mon) 09/19/2005 Colie, Happy 22nd Birthday! I'm looking at a picture of your Mom, holding you, when you were just a little baby & she has the biggest smile on her face. When I'm missing you, I just glance at your pictures & it comforts me. I know that you, are with all of us in spirit & I feel your presence around me, when I need it most. When I talk to you at night, I will try to keep it at a minimum. Oh!& by the way keep visiting me in my dreams. I Love You So Much!!! "Beautiful Sweet Nicole"
Aunty Tina
Folsom, CA, -

Well its been quite sometime and i always put off writing something. A friend of mine passed and all i could think about was you. We werent very close but the times we were together all i could think was how sweet and genuine you were. Your life hit close to home as i am a suicide survivor. What your family has done not only to keep your memory alive but to help all of those who suffer is amazing. Suicide is such a taboo issue that doesnt get talked about enough. With your memory hopefully others can talk and share their stories to know they are not alone. Watch out for my friend daniel say hi to my grandpa and ill be sure to never ever forget you. love always Melissa
Melissa Lee Dominguez
san jose, ca, -

nicole for a year and a half, i have been struggling with what i wanted to tell you. i think of you often, but the words never seemed to come. but it think it’s the right time to let you know what you meant to me. i will always remember the time that we got to spend together... although it will never be enough. you were a nanny for two girls and i worked at the elementary school that one of them attended. my day instantly got brighter when you pulled up to pick up one of the girls. your smile was contagious and your sweet personality instantly drew me in. i was immediately interested in your life, as you were with mine. during the summer when i took a nanny position, i was so excited because all of our girls were friends, so we set up playdates for them and we got to hang out. you have obviously left such a tremendous impact on so many people. whether it be your smile, you voice, or your understanding and compassionate soul, you made everyone you came in contact with a little happier. my thoughts are with you always as you complete your journey. i pray that you have found peace and, if nothing else, you realize that the world is a better place because you lived.
jamie holwerda
los altos, ca, -

I came across this site yesterday by complete random accident, and upon reading what it was about, my heart sank. My mind has been moving a mile a minute ever since. I have read everyone else's comments on you, and they are not far off from the impression you made on me when we worked together at Drinx (you probably don't miss being stuck in a coffee box for 8 hours). You were always singing to the radio, and it was a breath of fresh air as opposed to the other girls that didn't have such a good voice that would sing during the shifts =). Every customer came and got their coffee along with a complimentary smile, so that meant they got much more than what they paid for. Running into you at Outback when you were working was nice, because I got the same smile and a how are you doing as well. Hopefully you have found the peace you were looking for, and that the pain you felt has faded away into random memories that we will all remember, no matter how big or small they might be. I still don't know what to make of all this, but know that I'm just another person you made a small imprint for the better. Peace be with you and all who are still missing you.
Justin Matsui
Campbell CA, -

"Time passes by so quickly, But I guess I thought you'd be here forever. I never even had the chance, To say goodbye. There's so many things to tell you, Left unsaid until now. Can you hear me when I talk to you? Do the words I say ever make it through? Can you hear me when I talk to you? 'Cause I'd give anything if I just knew. Ev'ry night, I have the same dream. The one where you get to hold me. We laugh an' talk until the morning, An' then you vanish, yeah. It always leaves me feeling helpless, When I wake up an' you're not there. Can you hear me when I talk to you? Do you know how much I'd love to be with you? Can you hear me when I talk to you? 'Cause I'd give anything if I just knew. Instrumental break. Living in this world without you, I constantly search through my mem'ries. Hoping that I find some treasures, That I passed over, yeah. All that I took for granted, Means so much now, an' I won't let it go. Can you hear me when I talk to you? 'Cause I never said some things that I meant to. Can you hear me when I talk to you? 'Cause I'd give anything if I just knew." You know, I never said some things that I meant to. Can you hear me when I talk to you? 'Cause I'd give anything if I just knew.
Anonymous
CA, -

Hi, I am really sorry to have heard about thins. At the high school I go to we have had a really rough year. We have lost 8 kids and 1 staff member this year. It is a very hard thing to handle and espectully if they are so close together. I hope that things are getting better to handle. It all is very hard and things are seem to be getting better but then they change back to the way they were. It scares our staff and student body when the bell for an anouncement comes on at an odd time of day. Staff fear to answer the phone at night thinking its the phone chane telling them there was another death. Or when the are all called to the additorium for a meeting right away. After awile staff nor students know what to say or do when we do find out the next day about the darable thing that has happened. I am very grateful that you have all taken the time to come up with this idea and I hope with all my heart the it all gets better. And I love the bracelits. My friends are all getting one, staff at our school is getting one and I got one as well. Thanks.
Student
Thornton, Colorado, -

I just visited your site for Colie's Closet and what a wonderfull thing your family is doing to preserve your memory and honor your life. I lost my 15 year old daughter to suicide 7/21/03 and my heart is broken, so I can understand how important this is to your mother. You are an angel in heaven along with my beautiful Stephanie and you look down on us and watch over us. God Bless you and Peace in your mothers heart forever.
Mary
Naples, Fla, -

Nicole, I did not know you and im sure that you were a wonderful person. I looked at your pictured and think you are one of the most beautiful people ever. You have a beautiful voice and im sure that you were very loved. Your family has provided a wonderful foundation for you. You have touched so many people's hearts. Why? You will always be in our prayers and i pray that every day God is protecting you in every light beam that you touch. WE love you, Dakota and Shari
Dakota
Colorado, -

Nicole~ I never had the wonderful pleasure of meeting you, but I can say that I have never seen a more beautiful girl. Your smile is amazing, and the love you had for everyone and everything and the love the whole world has for you floors me. I was there. I wanted to leave so badly, and, if things had worked out, I'd be right there with you. But it didn't, and I thank the Lord every day for letting me see how damn wonderful my life really is. There's a Jimmy Eat World song..."I'd sing to you just one more time/A song for a heart so big/God wouldn't let it live". My love goes out to your family and all those whose lives were touched by your presence. I have your bracelet, and it reminds me every day that it's worth living, and that I must have faith- in myself and in life. Until we meet... Whitney
Whitney Koprowski
Boulder, Colorado, -

Coli... your beautiful warm smile still warms me up when i look at it... My first high school crush!!! we sat next to each other in english class and i used to say the most randomest things just to talk to you and try to make you laugh... it was so beautiful when you did! I miss you so much... you were an angel on earth, you really were... The sweetest, nicest, and prettiest girl you could imagine... never said anything bad about anybody and never had a reason to be talked bad about... I love you girl!!!
Aremon Habibi
San Jose/ Saratoga, CA, -

Hi Colie, eventhough you don't know anything about me, I just wanted you to know that I'm very very sorry about what happened, and I hope you are in a better place. My school supports Colie's Closet, and many of the students in it have purchased a band. I love your song, and I think you had an incredible voice.
annonymous
Boulder, Colorado, USA -

Dearest Colie, There is not a single day that goes by that I do not think of you. Although I have not seen you in years, I really miss your infectious smile. You are a beautiful soul that I will remember forever. Heaven is blessed to have an angel like you!
Kim Brown aka Kim Nguyen (As Marissa would say!)
Chicago, IL, -

(Sun)04/10/05 Aloha Nicole, Thank You! for the preciousgift you sent us from Heaven, Special Delivery "Little Baby Leila Nicole". I was told that she made quite an entrance on (Sat)04/09/05 at 6:09PM, all 7lbs. 11oz. and20 inches of her. I heard that she has a voice like an angel(Hmmm,I wonder who she got that from) and that she managed to get everyone's immediate attention, including her Grandparents. So it seems, that you have trained "Our Little Song Bird" very well, for this chapter in her life. Good Job!!! Life for "Leila Nicole's" Mom-Marisa,Dad-Chad and Sister*Kiele, will be forever changed for thebetter....xoxoxoxo. We are all so fortunate, to be graced by her presence. As always Nicole, you will be keeping a watchful eye from above, over all of us as we make ourjourney through life. You are always on my mind and in my heart. Until We Meet Again....Love You So Much, Aunty Tina
Tina Smith
Folsom, CA, -

Colie was so loved and so beautiful. I hope that her memory will carry on through the Hold On bracelets.
Anonymous
CO, -

Living on the Edge-Nicole Michalski (hope its right)I can’t believe I tried to live my life for youNever seemed to have much fun in anything I doFriends tell me to loosen up my gripBut boy it seems to be that I’m so into youIt’s feelings that I keep in store that’s making me blueIt never seems to change in this world about youFriends tell me to loosen up my gripBut boy I’m so into youI’m living on the edgeI’m chasing all the dreamsIt chased away from meTaking all this painIt’s driving me insaneI’m turning to the next pageIn my life I’m living on the edgeNo more conversationsNo more desperationYou made up your mind So now I carry on without youI’m living on the edgeI’m chasing all the dreamsIt chased away from meTaking all this painIt’s driving me insaneI’m turning to the next pageLiving on the edgeI’m chasing all the dreamsIt chased away from meTaking all this painIt’s driving me insaneI’m turning to the next pageIn my life I’m living on the edge
anonymous
san jose ca, -

i don't know you nor does my school but my schools prayers are with you there are many people that are selling/buying you bands at my school we are in 8th grade and 1/2 middle school has bought your band i bought the band and it has changed my visions of life your band has helped me get through hard times and prevent my bad memories of my brothers attempt God loves you :)
alyssa rodriguez
San Jose CA, -

I pray for you and your family so that you will be together again. Spirits are strong and I hope your family can feel you near.
K
Fort Collins CO, -

It's amazing to see how missed you are.
Jina "Bean"
San Jose, CA, -

I never knew Nicole, but I have heard so many wonderful stories from the people who knew her and loved her. It is hard for me to understand why such a young, beautiful girl would do such a thing and take her own life. I wish that I could have known her and in some way prevented such a tragedy. But even though it is such a tragedy I hope that Nicole is happy where she is and hopefully I can meet her someday and experience her warmth and friendship/
anonymous
los gatos, ca, -

I think about you often. It is beautiful to see you giving back to us, with these bracelets. (www.coliescloset.org) I feel as if I can take a piece of you with me, besides in my heart, that I can turn to when I need to. The words HOLD ON, are the two best words that could have been written on your bracelets. I know you helped your family make them. I miss you so much, seeing you at random places and having our petite conversations. I wish I had gotten to know you more, but through how your closest friends talk about you and from my encounters with you, it's as if I truly got to. Your spirit continues to bless others through your cousin's beautiful website for you and I enjoy reading what others have to share about you on here. I take comfort in all the good that your life brought to us all. I miss you. "Jungle loooove, is driving me mad ---its makin me craaazzyyy!!" *whistle whistle*
Jane
Campbell, CA, -

i am sorry for wat happened and my pryers will alway be with you
Victor
Fort,collins CO., -

i am sorry for wat happened and my pryers will alway be with you
Victor
Fort,collins C, -

i am sorry for wat happened and my pryers will alway be with you
Victor
Fort,collins, -

WoW, Nicole so beautiful and loved. I am sure you left alot of people with great memories that can never be taken away. All though family and friends are left behind to try to under stand and heel, I am sure you are watching over them. I too lost my brother to deprission in September of 2003. With much counseling and prayer I am healing. You are safe and in the arms of angles now. I pray that your family and friends find the confort of your spirit now, and know in their hearts that this is not what you would have planned. Kim
Kim Winner
Colorado, -

I did not know Collie, just something told me to look through her memorial. She was loved very much and my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. I lost my my mother in 2004 and my father in 2002 and my mothers mother in 2003. Reading Collie memorial just brought back so many memories of my mother and the relationship we had together. I cried through Collies whole memorial and it brought out so much pain that I have faced and the grieve I have been going through with my mothers death. I thank you very much and its has given be some ideas that I need to do and make so I will always have memories and cherish the memories I have for me and by family. Thank You Again - Collie is an Angel sent from above.
Anonymous
-

Colie, I visit your website very often and visit you in Los Gatos whenever I can. Seeing the pictures of your smiling reminds me of how delicate life and friends are. To anyone who reads this, Charish friends and family as we charish Nicole. Set her free and remember her and the things she gave us. Hold on to a peice of her. We never know when we are going to be called away from earth and sent to heaven with Nicole and other loved ones. Charish what we have on Earth and who we share it with. That's what Nicole would want us to do. Charish her memories and new memories we create.
Jina "bean"
San Jose,CA, -

"'Cause there's holes in the floor of Heavenand her tears are pourin' downthat's how you know she's watchin'wishin' she could be here nowAnd sometimes if you're lonelyjust remember she can seethere's holes in the floor of Heavenand she's watchin' over you and me"
.
., -

'Cause there's holes in the floor of Heavenand her tears are pourin' downthat's how you know she's watchin'wishin' she could be here nowAnd sometimes if you're lonelyjust remember she can seethere's holes in the floor of Heavenand she's watchin' over you and me
.
., -

Nicole, I miss you so much. I have so much to say, though I don't know how to put all my thoughts into words. One thing, after you left us, you came into my dreams, and in my dream...The day was absolutley beautiful, just like your face, and I was standing on the beach, with waves upon my feet, and you came to me and reached out for my hand. You smiled as bright as the sun, and asked me to walk with you. As we walked, I cried and you turned to me and gave me the biggest hug. You then told me everything is okay. The strangest thing, was when I woke up, I felt your presence in my room. I don't even know why I woke out of the dream, it was so weird. And I will never forget how stong your presence was, I can't even explain it. We had some really good times together that I will always keep in memory. Just 2 years ago, we were in Tahoe together for New Year's. Remember, we ate cinnamin sugar oatmeal plain, uncooked, (who eats oatmeal not cooked, lol. That was so delicious and you got me hooked. We ate that and cheez it's the whole time. How healthy was that? And only a year ago, you took your life. But that night, a new life was conceived, he is my son, and his name is Jackson. The saying is funny, how one life is taken away, but another life replaces the one that has left. That's what Jackson did...and every New Year's Eve, I will remember how you left me with my son. The best thing you ever did for me. Your sister told me that you are much happier now that you are in another life. And right now you are watching over her daughter that is yet to be born. You did so many wonderful things when you are alive, and still are till this day, you are gone, but you work in mysterious way. Everyone loves you so much Nicole. You are so beautiful and I wish I had talked to you more, and told you what a truly unique person you are. You have touched so many lives. I remember over the summer where we would lay out at the pool and we would talk about our lives, and Nick and our families. Please watch over us Nicole, you know what I went through and now that I look back, I know that's why you were telling me everything was okay. Thank you so much for that dream. Nicole, I would love it if you visited me often in my dreams, i feel so peaceful standing next to you. I am so thankful I met you, I will never forget you. Love Kathleen....PS I told you I am scattered. Sorry all my thoughts are everywhere, I hope I see you really soon!
Kathleen French
San Jose, CA, -

Nicole,A year has passed.. I look at how things have changed,and I know that I (and so many others) appreciate life more, and how precious it is. It feels like it has been so long since that time we ran into each other at the carwash and shared small talk. I pray that you are at peace, and that you are able to be with your friends and family in their dreams. I know you will always be with them in their hearts. When you visited me in my dream, dressed as a silly clown, I knew you were happy. It made me feel so much more at ease. I miss you so much! You have a beautiful view from your lovely spot.. And so do we, when we come to visit.
Jane G. Milaszius
Campbell, CA, -

It has been a year Colie and only now am I able to convey my thoughts and emotions. You were a precious gift of life, so fragile and vulnerable to the world. You posessed a warm smile, a soft voice and had a gentle heart. Your life has been a lesson to me and hopefully to others. We as humans are delicate and so easily affected by the world. Only recently have I understood that. What ever the after life has in store for all of us, I can only hope that your beautiful smile is the first thing we encounter.
Lisa Willmes
Campbell,Ca, -

Hey beautiful, it's me. I'm sorry it took so long to write you but when I tried before, I had too many thoughts going through my mind. I wanted to wait until I could give it my all for you. I know you would do the same. It's been a year now without your pretty smile around and I miss you so much. You meant a lot to me as well as everyone who ever knew you. There was just something about the way you treated everyone that was so genuine. You had nothing but love for EVERYONE. I miss our long talks about what was going on in our lives at the time. I miss you walking into Outback with that little grin on your face once we saw eachother. I could go on and on telling you what I miss about you but I could just sum it up by saying......I MISS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU! So loving, and down to earth. Never had anything bad to say about anyone. Nicole, you changed me for the better. I would have never thought I'd find myself reading Horoscopes all the time and learning about the Zodiac signs. It helped me understand more about myself and what was to come. It taught me to love those who I cared about more and to cherish life itself.--------------------------------------------------You were an angel before you left usbut only one thing has changed.You got a new pair of wings nowand grabbed hold of the reigns.Your journey up in heavenhas already been planned.An angel to watch overand lend a helping hand.Your shoes can't be filledand your place won't be taken.Your heart will be missedand you'll never be mistaken.When I look into the sky,it'll be you that comes to mind.That pretty little smileis what I'll spend time to find.For those who knew youare with me when I say,"Such a big heart in a little bodycan go a long way."I hope you rememberand do not forget.That Nicole Brianne Michalskiis not done yet.We miss you more than anythingand love you even more.Thoughts and prayers are with youon December 31st, 2004
Jaemin Caplan
Campbell, CA, -

It's been a year...nothing has changed...I still can't believe it...I still think of you every day...I still hear your voice...I still breakdown and cry...I still feel an ache in my heart...I still wonder why...and I still miss you like crazy.
MB
CA, USA -

Merry Christmas Nicole... Every year, you are the angel on earth. This year were're all blessed to have you as the angel watching and protecting all of your friends and family. Nicole, our charished angel.
Jina "Bean"
San Jose, CA, -

I have this memory of you stuck in my mind, it was middle school and we were all at Great America, we decided to do the karaoke recording and when we all got ready to sing we froze up. You started to sing the song and we all looked at each other in shock, we couldn’t bring ourselves to sing because we all knew we didn’t even sound as half as good as you did HAHA. I remember you always being so wonderfully nice, not matter what and no who. You always took the time to say hello and recognize someone. I truly believe looking back that you have accomplished your purpose here on earth. I believe you gave everyone you ever known a piece of warmth and happiness. You inspired us all to be a better person, to look beyond and give a helping hand and most popularly a smile. Although you are shinning down upon us from heaven, we will never forget what a beautiful person you were and you always be in our hearts. Nicole our angel now, we ask you to hear our prayers and help guide us along the right paths. We talk to u now but we will see you soon! We all miss you and love you!
Jennifer Dwyer
Campbell, CA, -

Although we never much spoke outside the context of our "band" practice in middle school, your vibrance in personality and voice will always stand out sharply in my mind. Just a few months ago I was looking through old pictures and came across our 8th grade talent show performance, a few days ago I hear that this has happened and I don't want to believe. The last memory I have is at Outback Steakhouse during one summer. I remember the brief conversation. A simple "hello, how are you". Thinking back to all these memories, although we were never close friends, I know the world is one amazing person less. I'll miss knowing that your voice still sings the most beautiful notes.
Stephen Wanta
Gainesville, FL, -

Happy 21st Colie. I miss you soooo much and think about you everyday!!! I hope you are happier now up in heaven!Love, Ash
Ashley Carrothers
Campbell, CA, -

Happy 21st birthday colie. We all miss you so much .Love youLove Nikole
Nikole
CA, -

Dear Colie: I can still remember your infectious laugh and sweet smile as a child, you were such a ham with your singing and dancing around all the time. I unfortunately live so far away that most of my time with you was when you were little so I cherish every memory. Mel and I would pick you and several other little cousins up to go play at the beach or anywhere else we could think of going, I remember you singing some rap song to us while we drove and we would all laugh so hard. The last time I got to see you was Christmas of 1999 and you had grown into such a beautiful young woman, I know your family was so proud of you. I'm sure your with my little brothers Tavis and Jesse now, keeping an eye on the rest of this crazy family, I'm sure they are showing you the ropes. I always find comfort in knowing that I have alot of family to greet me when my time comes and I can't wait to see you all again in a "MUCH" better place. Until then, my little cousin, I will look for your new star in the sky and know your with us. Much Love, Cousin Buffy
Buffy Marciel-Crawford
Canyon Lake, TX, -

Hey Colie its Gracey. Wow I dont really know where to start. I guess ill start by apologizing for taking so long to write. Like so many others im still trying to understand that you are no longer here. I want you to know that most of all I just miss my best friend. Your mother once said to me during a conversation that if she could say one thing about you with your friends, it would be loyalty. I could not agree with that more. You were that one friend that I never had to think twice about, you just made it clear that you were there for me. I always thought of you as such a gift from god. I just could not believe that I was blessed with such an amazing best friend. You were always there for me with you big white smile that made anyone you passed think different about life. Colie I want to thank you for everything you have given me and still are giving to me. When I needed advice, whether it be what to wear out or what I should do about my friends and family, you always gave me such a real, intellegent, answer. You just had something so special about you, and that is why you are my best friend. Colie, I am so sorrry I did not see your deep pain. You hid it so well. Im just remembering the last time we spent together. I didnt see anything peculiar. I saw two best friends shopping, talking, laughing, and just being our silly selves. You pushing me into the clothing to try and make it fall on top of me, and us cracking up about it. Most of all I saw my best friend with her loud funny attitude, soft spirit, perfect body, shiny brown hair, and the all american girl smile. I just have so many emotions mad, angry, sad, lonely, confused. We spent so many fun times together with so many amazing memories. I am so happy and lucky to have all those memories, but it wasnt suppose to end so soon. I was looking forward to so many more. Our weddings, who is going to be my maid oh honor? No more famous playmates in Mexico for spring break, or Hawaiian summers, and who is going to be my kids godparents? I feel so lost without you. I hope you know how much you meant to me and how much I love you. You were the bestess friend that anyone could ask for. I thank god everyday that I had you for a friend. I am still learning from you each day, and you have helped me look at life in such a precious way. I love you so much Colie and there hasnt been one day that I havnt thought of you. Thank you for all the relationships you have been the middle of and always making me part of you loving family. I feel truly blessed. I love you and miss you so much. XOXO muah!Love always,Gracey
Grace Rosenthal
campbell, ca., -

I'm sorry it has taken me so long to write to you. I think it's because I still can't believe you are gone. Your beautiful face enters my mind each day and my heart aches when I think of how much I truly miss you.I miss your bright white, perfectly straight smile.I miss your sparkly eyes.I miss your insane workout schedule.I miss the sweet sound of your voice.I miss your truthful yet kind words.I miss your flowery scent.I miss how you put a positive spin on all situations.I miss the summer night BBQs at your parent’s house.I miss listening to you sing at the Karaoke parties in the garage.I miss the way you would say "Mah-ris-ahh" when she embarrassed you.I miss our dance parties at SeaScape.I miss girl's day at The Westin.I miss shopping in Lahaina.I miss being motivated by the sight of you in a bikini.I miss your stylish flare.I miss buying Purple Passion for you behind your mom's back. (sorry Ange & John)I miss the thought of you becoming a rock star and being your groupie.I miss our underwater races across the pool.I miss your compliments.I miss the way you loved my Mason.I miss meeting your new boyfriends.I miss the thought of your wedding and children.I miss your ability to see good in everyone.I miss your sound advice.I miss the love and devotion you showed to your family & friends.I miss your crazy quirks.I miss YOU!You are in my heart always,Michelle
Michelle Beddo
San Jose, California, -

Well Nicole,What can I say, i miss you so much. Its been a little over four months and I have not gone one day or one hour at that without thinking about you and wishing I could jsut hear your voice one last time or see you smile. I remember is P.E. our sophomore year the teacher asked you If I was your brother. When i heard that i was honered that someone would compare me to such a beautiful person inside and out. I think about you constatnly and as much as I want to see you, i am glad that you are now happy where you are. I just got one favor to ask....Watch over me please, dont let me do anything to crazy or stupid. I know you are wathcing down on me and I can't wait to see you in heaven when i get there.....I love you Nicole and will never forget you...Love,Eric Mehrten
Eric Mehrten
Campbell, Ca, -

Nicole, it's still so unbelieveable to me that you're gone. I can remember Campbell Middle and all the plays we did together. I can still see you singing that beautiful song in the Wind of a Thousand Tales, and of course you were one of the Smile girls in Annie. Your smile light up the stage! I know we were'nt super close in high school, but I still felt that I could count on you as a friend. Thank you for that. I think about you often and hope that you are happier now. Know that you are always on the minds of us all and we love and miss you.
Dionne Teppola
Campbell, Ca, -

Colie, i never really got a chance to talk to you or even become close to you. We had some class together through out middle school and high school. I wish i could have been closer friends with you Nicole. I truly miss you being around, your smile would make my day .Colie i really miss you. Hope to see you someday again . Love you GirlLove Nikole
Nikole Kerswell
Campbell , CA, -

Nicole, I never got the chance to truly know you but I wish I would have. We've been in and out of classes together since Campbell Middle. Every chance I got to see you smile was like the first time, everytime. Just being around you felt positive no matter how bad or good being at school was, seeing your smile seemed to make everything worth it. Loosing such a ray of sunshine is a great loss. Your smile, lit up rooms, now it can light our world. I talk to you all the time knowing you'll talk back. See you when I get there. XOXOXOXO
Jina "Bean" Duncan
San Jose, CA, -

Colie Bear,I just wanted you to know how much you mean to me. You were such a big part of my life. Being around you and your family (Ange, John And Risa) always was a joy. Spending the summers on Mel's parents houseboat, was so much fun. I will always remember you as little colie. You grew up to be such a beautiful girl. I was honered to be a part of your life. I will miss you greatly. You are in my thoughts everyday.love always,Jani Burke
JANI BURKE <janirlbb@yahoo.com>
Frisco, Texas -

Dearest Colie Berries, Not a day goes by where I haven't thought of you. When my heart is sad, I can close my eyes and picture you at 3 yrs old sitting in your window waiting for me to pick you up. It puts a smile on my face. I hope when you look down upon all of us, you can truly feel and see the gifts you gave to so many people. When you were liitle, you were like my first baby. You, Riss and Jenna girl were automatic additions to the weekend agenda. I had so much fun bathing, dressing you up and taking you just about everywhere. You used to dance and sing for all my friends, and soon they feel in love with you too! You gave so much to people in the short 20 years, and I don't think you realized how special those gifts were. When you were here on Christmas Day, I wish I could have reminded you of how special you always were to me. When I was 18 and I got the big "C" as we called it, you and Riss were such a big part of my recovery. You were such a bright light in my life. You made me laugh with your effervescent personality and you gave me unconditional affection. There were times when I was so physically and emotionally low, and you'd sing "Push it" dressed in my underwear and t-shirts, and I'd be set for the day. Probably one of the best memories I have is when you first saw me bald from Chemo. I took my wig off and you rubbed my Albert Einstein head until you fell asleep. Getting "comfortable and cozy" was always your favorite thing to do. What you never knew was how uplifting and comforting it was for me at 18 and 19 years old to have you as such an amazing support when I was in such a vulnerable place in my life. I will share my memories of you with my own babies, and tell them of the sweet vivacious little cousin I had. I'll miss and love you forever, Mel
Melanie Ruggiero
Saratoga, CA, -

Nicole, Oh my goodness... I miss you so much. Although I am sad that you left us all... I know that you are happy and at peace in heaven! I am sorry that we never got to do that catching up... I wait for that day in future when we can catch up once again. I LOVE YOU COLIE!
Samantha Malloy
Campbell, Ca., -

My little Colie, I can still remember the first day I met you like it was yesterday. Lunch time at Westmont, a mutual friend took me to where you and yours girls Laura and Ashly ate lunch on the grass. You were drinking a blue Power Aid, and it was funny because your hand was shaking. From that day on we were close for a long time. Your passing has been a huge loss for me. Still doesn"t seem real to me. I'll never forget you Colie. You will forever be in my mind, and no day will go by when I don't think about you. Do me a favor, keep visiting me in my dreams, thats all I ask. Until we meet again, watch over me and my family and all your family and friends...
Matthew Knox
Campbell CA, -

Nichole, I will never forget the day i met you. It was Prom of 2002, after party, I didnt know a lot of the people that were there, and you befriended me. You will never know how much that ment to me. Even though we didnt spend a lot of time outside of school together, you always had and will always have a place in my heart. You are such a beautiful woman, and I know that you will always be with us all in spirit, and will always watch over us. I thank you again, for being who you are. You are so wonderful. See you again soon!! Love you!
Tina Smith
San Jose, Cali, -

Nicole ~ Although during high school we were never really close I could always count on a smile when you passed by, and some good laughs during Mr. Delaney’s class. Through working at the Outback, and growing closer with Nick I began to see how great of a person you were. Our little chats and your bits of advice helped to gear me in the right direction. I wish I would have gotten the chance to know you better, but I treasure the moments we shared. Whether you were getting pedicures with your mom, running to the hot tub using a wash cloth as your towel, or breaking towel racks with Laura (ha ha) you could always put a smile on someone’s face. Not a day goes by where you aren’t in my thoughts and prayers (you better be listening!:0) Heaven is so lucky to have and angel like you! Until the day we meet again, never stop showing off those pearly whites, and please watch over us all. I love ya girl and will be thinking of you always and forever! “God looked around his Garden and found an empty place. He then looked down upon his earth and saw your loving face. He put his arms around you and lifted you to rest. His Garden must be beautiful, he always takes the best. He knew that you were suffering, he knew you were in pain. And knew that you would never get well on earth again. He saw your path was difficult, he closed you tired eyes, He whispered to you "Peace be Thine" and gave you wings to fly. When we saw you sleeping so calm and free of pain, We would not wish you back to earth to suffer once again. You've left us precious memories, your love will be our guide, You live on through your friends and family, you're always by our side. It broke our hearts to lose you, but you did not go alone. For part of us went with you on the day God called you home.”
Natalie Picchi
Campbell, CA, -

I only met Nicole once at Spaghetti Factory for my Godfather's birthday dinner....but once was all it had to take to know what a warm and loving person she was....she held me and played with me...In reflection I would like to share a little something that my mommy had found it reminded us both of Nicole it is called "God's Child and Yours" and we are not sure who wrote it but it is a good one! God's Child and Yours I'll lend you for a little time a child of mine, he said, For you to love the while she lives and mourn for when she’s dead. It may be six or seven years, or twenty-two or three, But will you, till I call her back, take care of her for me? She’ll bring her charms to gladden you, and shall her stay be brief, You’ll have her lovely memories as solace for your grief, I cannot promise she will stay, since all from Earth return, But there are lessons, taught down there, I want this child to learn. I’ve looked the wide world over in my search for teachers true, And from the throngs that crowd life’s lanes, I have selected you. Now will you give her all your love nor think the labor vain, Nor hate me when I come to call to take her back again? I fancied that I heard them say, Dear Lord, Thy will be done! For all the joy Thy child shall bring, the risk of grief we’ll run. We’ll shelter her with tenderness; we’ll love her while we may, And for the happiness we’ve known forever-grateful stay; But shall the angels call her much sooner than we’ve planned, We’ll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand.
Bella-Ha'ane
Aptos/Ca, -

02/20/04 Nicole, You are like the drop of water that hits the smooth surface of a pond with its endless rippling effect growing wider and wider until you can't see it anymore; it is reminiscent of all the people that you touched so uniquely. I know that when we all greet each morning, the thought of you is not far behind, both comforting and bittersweet. Our world is a better place because you were in it. You left behind so many wonderful memories for us all to share and hold on to that helps us through the grief. I can still remember the giggly little girl who couldn't wait to get into the tub with the bubbly water rising higher and higher with the excitement on your face so priceless. You were always laughing and smiling, just so happy.... I enjoyed going to all of your singing recitals and talent shows which left me proud and teary eyed, because my niece gave her best performance, ever!! Nicole, you were everything good and kind, because you were so giving and caring. You always seemed to feel the pain that others felt deeply, doing your best to fill it with happiness and smiles, like an umbrella on a rainy day or the warm embrace of the sun's rays. Your beautiful and loving spirit will surround us always. I reflect back happily on your 19th birthday when I gave you the newspaper that marked your birthday, September 19th, 1983. You marveled over all of the editorials, advertisements, entertainment and classified sections. I'm glad that we were able to look back in time to the very day that you were born... so precious, so special. "We Are All So Happy To Have Known You" Colie, Peace Be With You Until We Meet Again...... Love You Always, Aunty Tina
Tina Smith
Folsom, CA, -

Nicole, Through my eyes you were the most beautiful person I have ever seen, inside and out. I thought you were so beautiful that I took a few of my favorite pictures from Ashleys photoalbum and send them to people online when I was about 10 and said it was me.(everyone I sent it to thought you were SOO hott!) Ashley got so mad at me and put me on the spot and made me tell you. LoL! I will never forget that!! You just looked at me and smiled with those big white teeth and said it was cute and I got really embarrassed. I also remember when you picked me up with the girls at a football game and Ashley and Laura were ready to fight and you said.."Sami don't ever fight...just call the police, they will handle everything." HaHa! You sure wernt a fighter, you deffineitly a lover. At first I was scared of you after you passed on...but now I know you would never hurt me...I know you are watching over us. Please help me in my hard times and help guide me in the right direction. Watch over Ashley too please if you can. She loves you so much and talks about you all the time. We all loved you very much and you will be greatly missed. xoxo
Sami Reed
San Jose, CA, -

Baby Coca (My AnGeL), First, "HeY GirrrL"...haha. I want to start out by telling you that there is not a single day that has gone by where I haven't thought of you or talked out loud to you...You have no idea how much of an impact you have made in my life. Sorry, its taken me so long to write, but it's really been a difficult time for me. I can only hold on to all of the good times we have spent together. I can't wait until the day when I arrive and your big brown eyes, stick straight hair (You know I got it too, we never really needed flat irons.. ASH and Nauzi hated that..haha ) and beautiful smiling face is there to greet me. You have been the one who always pushed me to be a better person, and spoke encouraging words to keep me going when I felt hope was lost. Go way back to 6th grade (braces, glasses, and all) the very first day I met you, you invited me to your house. Who does that?! It was meant to be, I knew from that day on I had met my first REAL friend. "Have a Spacey Day!".. Little did I know at that time you would be the person I would expierience first everythings with for another 8 years...8 great years..First boyfriends, highschool, causing lots of trouble..sometimes too much (haha), and most importantly finding our true selves and becoming beautiful people... It was a great adventure. I want you to know I will always consider you my best friend..the shoes you left behind will be much too hard to fill. And just to let you know..please keep visiting me in my dreams.. I need that. I LOVE YOU, we had such a real friendship (secret friends forever..shhh) ; ) Ash knows what I mean..Too many good times to write about, so I will just continue to think of them everyday.. one that we loved BEEBopA DooBopbopBow yeah..LoVe ALWaYS, LocA PS: Please watch over me and tell my mom I love her too..thx girl.
Laura Steele
Campbell, Ca, -

My Baby Coca,
Laura Steele
Campbell, CA, -

Nicole-We were together in several classes in middle school and one thing I can't holdback not saying is that you have the most bright enchanting smile. There is this saying that I have heard many years ago that says "Smile and I Smile with you" and that "I" in this is You. No-one else can fill that spot if it's not you."Smile and Nicole Smile's with you" with Love.
Lucia Gonzalez
campbell,ca, -

Until were together again I will keep you in my heart and in my soul. I will spend so many quiet nights on my own thinking how much i miss you and how hard it is to be away from you. I am so glad that you are a part of my life. having you in my life was the best thing that has ever happen to me. to share myself with you, and to walk together on the paths that took us in so many directions. My world is lost without you, my tomorrows need to have you near. my future depends on you. You were the most geniune, beatiful person in the whole world. I miss you so much. I will never forget all the special moments we had together. I love you more than life itself godbless you Colie. LOVE your "brat" Nick.
Nick Salvador
San jose, CA, -

hey virgo buddy- colie i dont know where to start...you always made me want to be a nicer and kinder person. we have had so many wonderful and funny memories: earth science where my ridiculous nickname "buttworm" was conceived, my E.T. fingers, all our lonely lunches senior year, fighting over who was gonna have their birthday party that weekend,"shopping" in hawaii lol, staying in the car while laura and ash partied (pissed them off), your little crush on "goof", surprising me on my 18th bday showin up with aremon and robert (very funny girl), giving your pancake-spatchala lookin feet a pedicure,tutoring you in math while you taught me some english (brang is really brought), plastic surgery (except you chickened out). we had so much in common i always knew if i did something wierd like smell paper after writing on it with a pen, you did it too! we both felt some strange joy cleaning our rooms, brushing our teeth, and washing our faces. just one way to explain that "it's a virgo thing." you may not think it but you truly impacted everyone's lives, just your bright smile alone made everyone's day brighter. damn girl i am talking BRIGHT WHITE!!!!i will always miss you. love, nauzie joon
nauzaneen mostofi
campbell, -

Colie,I miss you so much and theres this song hero by mariah carey that reminds me of you because you are truely a hero so heres the song:There's a hero If you look inside your heart You don't have to be afraid Of what you are There's an answer If you reach into your soul And the sorrow that you know Will melt away And then a hero comes along With the strength to carry on And you cast your fears aside And you know you can survive So when you feel like hope is gone Look inside you and be strong And you'll finally see the truth That a hero lies in you It's a long road When you face the world alone No one reaches out a hand For you to hold You can find love If you search within yourself And the emptiness you felt Will disappear And then a hero comes along With the strength to carry on And you cast your fears aside And you know you can survive So when you feel like hope is gone Look inside you and be strong And you'll finally see the truth That a hero lies in you Lord knows Dreams are hard to follow But don't let anyone Tear them away Hold on There will be tomorrow In time You'll find the way And then a hero comes along With the strength to carry on And you cast your fears aside And you know you can survive So when you feel like hope is gone Look inside you and be strong And you'll finally see the truth That a hero lies in you I love you colie and I miss you with all my heart Love always and forever Keila Marciel.
Keila Shea Marciel
SAN JOSE CA, -

Nicole, even though its been a while since we've talked you still touched my life more than you probably knew. From the plays and chorus to the small conversations that we had in high school and all the things that Melissa has told me about you crazy girls since graduation. You were one of the most beautiful people I've known and you are truly missed everyday. I hope that you are looking down at us with a smile and I am comforted knowing that you are in a better place. You will be in my heart forever.
Dana Young
Campbell, CA, -

Nicole, Your beauty touched all of our lives. We were truly blessed to have you as part of our family, even though it was for a short time. Your smile and sweet spirit will always remain a part of my family's memories. You had a way of bringing happiness and comfort to everybody you met, including me. Thank you for loving my family and I hope you knew how much we loved you. You will be truly missed, but I know you are looking down on us and are finally at peace.
Jennifer Castello
San Diego, CA, -

Nicole, I only had the oppertunity to talk to you a couple of times on the phone, and I am sorry that you Melissa and I never did get to go out dinner I really wish we could have. I feel like I missed a great oppertunity to me a special person. Before I left for the Army Melissa gave me many of pictures, but one sticks out in my room the most, it is the picture of all you girls in Hawaii. Every time I look at that picture I always think to myself how I wish Melissa and I could had have that dinner with you. But I know that you are up in Heaven watching over her and all your friends and family. I hope you know that there are many people down here that love and miss you very much.
Christopher
an Jose,Ca, -

Baby Coca, I have know you since the days of our big ugly glasses and those horrible braces(what dorks we were)but you turned out to be one of the most beautiful people inside and out that I have known and probably will ever know. You are the sweetest most caring person that knew how to make everyones day a little brighter. I have so many memories with you in them, from chorus with Mrs. Clements, plays, making our book reports into movies, to our senior trip to Hawaii. Not one memory that I have with you in it is a bad one. On my mirror there is a picture of all of us girls in Hawaii, I see that picture everyday and everytime I see it, it makes me miss you more and more. I know that I could come to you if I needed someone to listen or I needed a shoulder to cry on and I just wish that you knew I would have done the same for you, I wish you knew that I would have been there for you whenever you needed me. I know that you are up in Heaven looking down on all of us and I truly hope that the angel that is watching over me is you. You will always be in my thoughts and always in my heart. I miss you and love you, Coca! Don't forget to take care of Trolie..hahaha! I hope to see you again one day!
Melissa Bedell
San Jose, Ca, -

Nicole, Not only were you my Cousin's girlfriend, you were his best friend and my friend too. I am thankful to have known you, and feel special to have as many memories of you that I do. Remember the first time we were watching American Idol?? Wasn't it funny? (If only you had known that you were so much better than all of those singers.....) Remember the dinners with You, Ricky, Me and My Ricky at Giorgiou's? How hard Ricky made us laugh?? (Did you really know how much he cared about you?) I still have the candle that you brought me from Hawaii. Everytime I walk into my house, the smell of coconut reminds me of you. (Did you realize that the little things you did made us all feel great?) You should know that when I think about you, all I see is a beautiful smile.... your beautiful smile. You will be missed forever and never forgotten. We all love you!
Sarah Richardson
Sunnyvale, CA, -

I found this perfect peom just for you Nicole, Don't think of her as gone away, Her journey's just begun. Life beholds so many facets The earth is only one. Just think of her as resting, From the sorrow and the tears In a place of warmth and comfort Where there are no days or years. And think of her as living In the lives of those she touched. For nothing loved is ever lost, And Nicole was loved so much! Always, Nancy
Nancy
San Jose, -

A FRIEND OF MINE CAME FROM A SERVICE & SHE HAD THIS PAMPHLET FOR ME TO SEE, I THOUGHT THAT I WOULD SHARE IT... ECCLESIASTES TO EVERYTHING THERE IS A SEASON AND A TIME TO EVERY PURPOSE UNDER THE HEAVEN A TIME TO BE BORN AND A TIME TO DIE A TIME TO PLANT AND A TIME TO PLUCK UP THAT WHICH IS PLANTED A TIME TO KILL AND A TIME TO HEAL A TIME TO BREAK DOWN AND A TIME TO BUILD UP A TIME TO WEEP AND A TIME TO LAUGH A TIME TO MOURN AND A TIME TO DANCE A TIME TO CAST AWAY STONES AND A TIME TO GATHER STONES TOGETHER A TIME TO EMBRACE AND A TIME TO REFRAIN FROM EMBRACING A TIME TO GET AND A TIME TO LOSE A TIME TO KEEP AND A TIME TO CAST AWAY A TIME TO REND AND A TIME TO SEW A TIME TO KEEP SILENCE AND A TIME TO SPEAK A TIME TO LOVE AND A TIME TO HATE A TIME OF WAR AND A TIME OF PEACE AND...A TIME TO SAY "UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN."
KELLY PONCE
SAN JOSE, -

KEILA SHOWED ME THE WEB-SITE....VERY TOUCHING! MADE ME CRY... I LOST MY BIG BROTHER 4 YEARS AGO DEC 5TH, & THERE ISN'T A DAY THAT GOES BY THAT I DON'T THINK OF HIM, I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW OR UNDERSTAND DEATH REALLY, I'M STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM...I'LL NEVER REALLY KNOW. I OFTEN WONDER WHEN I'M THINKING OF HIM, THAT WHEN THOSE "RARE" DEAD SONGS & OLD STEVIE NICKS- FLEETWOOD MAC SONGS WILL COME ON THE RADIO OUT OF NOWHERE EXPECTED & THEN I WONDER IF IT'S HIS WAY OF LETTING ME KNOW, HE'S STILL AROUND.....WHEN SOMEONE YOU LOVE SO MUCH LEAVES, I THINK YOU ALWAYS HAVE THOSE THOUGHTS OF , I WISH I WOULD OF DONE THAT OR THIS & WE BLAME OURSELVES SOMEWHAT....MY PARENTS SEND THEIR REGARDS AS WELL, THEY CAN RELATE TO JOHN & ANGELA, I REMEMBER MY MA PACKING HIS BELONGINGS, SOBBING SO, SAYING, "THIS ISN'T RIGHT, WE'RE NOT SUPPOSE TO BE BURRYING OUR CHILD!" YOU KIDS SHOULD BE BURRYING US FIRST. I FELT SO BAD, ESPECIALLY MY FOLKS HAVE ONLY GONE TO A FEW FUNERALS, THEY WEREN'T EVEN GOING TO HAVE A SERVICE, & I HAD TO TELL THEM, YOU NEED TO, BECAUSE PEOPLE NEED TO BE ABLE TO MOURN HIM,I REMEMBER IT TAKING ME HOURS, BALLING THE ENTIRE TIME TYPING A SPEECH BECAUSE I JUST KNEW NOBODY WOULD SAY ANYTHING, & I WASN'T GOING TO LET MYSELF NOT SAY SOMETHING ABOUT MY BIG BRO. DAD SURPRISED ME & HE DID HAVE A FEW KIND WORDS TO SAY, I WAS SHOCKED HE WAS ABLE TO STAY SO CONTAINED, BECAUSE AT THE VIEWING, I SAW MY DAD CRY.....LIKE I'VE NEVER SEEN MY DAD REALLY CRY BEFORE & THAT WAS ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATING. BETHEL CHURCH DID A WONDERFUL JOB, I COULDN'T BELIEVE MY EYES HOW MANY PEOPLES LIVES HE HAD REALLY TOUCHED, & HOW MANY PEOPLE SAID SOMETHING...I'M STILL BITTER ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS THAT HELPED PUT MY BROTHER TO HIS DEATH, BUT I HAVE TO TELL MYSELF ALSO, MY BROTHER WAS A REAL SICK & DEPRESSED MAN, & NEVER SEEKED HELP, HE WAS TOO PROUD TO ASK. I NOW TRY TO JUST DEAL WITH KNOWING HE IS AT REST NOW.....LIKE NICOLE'S POEM SAYS, HE'S FREE NOW! IF THERE IS A GOD & I BELIEVE THERE IS, NICOLE I KNOW YOU KNOW THAT I HOLD A LOT OF GUILT SERIOULSY FOR NOT SHOWING UP AT XMAS EVE THIS YEAR.WHO WOULD HAVE KNOWN IT WAS GOING TO BE THE LAST TIME I SAW YOU, SADDENS ME TERRIBLY. I BROKE MY TRADITION & WENT TO PAUL'S SIDE THIS YEAR, SINCE WE HADN'T BEEN TO HIS GRANDMA'S SIDE FROM HIS DAD'S SIDE FOR THE LAST FEW YEARS.I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS BEING KIND TO ME & ALWAYS MAKING ME FEEL WELCOME IN THE FAMILY. ..I WONDERED THAT EVENING IF IN FACT ANYONE HAD THOUGHT OF ME, AFTER ALL EVERY YEAR I HAVE DROPPED IN WITH KEILA'S PORTRAITS WITH A FEW OF THE AUNTS, KEILA CHOSE WHO GOT THEM THIS YEAR, INDEED I HAD THEM, & WAS WEIRY OF LETTING KEILA TAKE THE BAG, YOURS (NICOLE'S) WAS ONE OF THEM ENCLOSED, & FOR DAYS AFTER XMAS I WAS IRRESPONSIBLE & DIDN'T GET THE PHOTOS DELIVERED NOR MAILED. I HAD DRIVEN BY SEVERAL X TO & STILL DIDN'T STOP, & NATURALLY THINKING OF THE ENTIRE FAMILY WHEN I DRIVE BY....I NOW TO REGRET THAT, I KNOW WE WOULD HAVE HUGGED & I WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO SEE THAT BRIGHT SMILE, THAT YOU ALWAYS INDEED HAVE. I KNOW YOUR LIVES WILL FOREVER HAVE CHANGED & WILL NEVER BE THE SAME, & ALTHOUGH WE WILL MISS YOU, WE WILL NEVER FORGET YOU.... REST IN PEACE ALL MY LOVE
KELLY PONCE AKA:COUSIN KEILA SHEA'S MOM
SAN JOSE CA, -

Dear Nicole, I know you are in heaven now, your smile and care will be missed here on earth. It is with saddnes and compassion that you left, but it is with joy and celebration that you are embraced by Christ. May your eternal life be one of peace and gladness. Mike
Rev. Michael Carson
Campbell/CA, -

Nicole- Although I never was the closest of friends with you, you truly touched my life. You were one of those girls I would look up to and wish I could be like. Everytime we ran into each other you always had a big smile and kind words to share. I'm so glad we got the chance to work together at Outback and share some laughs. I'll never forget you and that "Jungle love, it's drivin me mad, it's makin me craaazzyyy" song. You loved the part where they whistle in it. I never even noticed it before you, and now the whistles in it will be what i listen for, for you!!! You always were such a bright shining star to be around. Your love will be felt until forever from everyone who ever got the chance to meet you. Yep, you gave so many of us happy times in our lives. We're so greatful to have known you. I know I will see you again one day, and I will talk to you now and again until then. I do feel your presence at times as well, and it's truly an amazing feeling. I wish we had more time with you, but it's like that song says "Only the good die young." I wish you were still here in the physical, but you're still in all of our hearts and that cannot be taken away. I love and miss you. You truly are an angel, you're beautiful voice and electric personality were proof here on earth that that's what you were and always will be. *one love* =)
Jane Milaszius
Campbell, CA, -

Nicole, I am so happy that you were a part of our family's life even though it was too short. I will miss your kind heart and free spirit. I know that you are soaring high above the clouds and that you are now at peace. Love Rick Sr.
Rick Castello Sr
San Jose CA, -

Nicolie, Your presence and memory in my life will remain with me forever. You were so very special to me. I wish I could have seen the pain you were going through - but you hid it so well. All I saw was the beautiful and caring young woman that you were and someone that I wanted in my life forever. I love you Nicole and always will. You will always remain in my heart and my life forever - Love, Nancy
Nancy Castello
San Jose, CA, -

Colie- It’s getting harder and harder to look out side and not be able to see you hop into your car to do your everyday grind or even get a friendly wave. These past couple years have flown by with little words between us…But like Marisa told me, I have to be thankful that I spoke to you before Christmas and had a good catch up chat. Of course that night has been running through my head and why I never noticed your pain…. That’s foolish of me to dwell on but I just miss you terribly… Despite the justification to your decision, I will help myself to understand by knowing your in peace now… I have spent so much time thinking about our past and memories I never thought I would remember, mostly because there are so many. From running across the street to borrow each other’s clothes, to afternoon snacks with Kool-Aid and memories shared with old friends…Colie, you complete my every memory of childhood and have unknowingly helped to shape me as the person I am today. I’m thankful for all our laughs and trails of friendship… Your goofiness and caring love will be in my heart always. Your beautiful voice will sing in my mind forever and will never be forgotten. I love you and will always look up to you as the angel in my heart.
Heather Rasmussen
Campbell, -

Nicole (AKA Nic Mic)- Since you have been gone, my life has not been the same. You have touched my life in so many ways, but I am thankful for the 15 years I have known you. We have so many good memories together that will never be forgotten. I miss you soo much Colie, I just wish that there was something I could have done to help you. My whole life I have always looked up to you because you are such a beautiful person inside and out, you are smart, funny, sweet and not to mention talented. I know you are in a better place now full of peace and love. I miss you and I will never forget you!
Ashley Carrothers
Campbell, CA , -

Colie, there hasnt been a day that has gone by that i havent thought about you. i keep thinking about all of the great times we had together and what a great person you are, and then i think of all of the "what ifs." i wish i had been there for you, called you more often, spent more time with you, and now its too late. i just wish that life didnt have to be so hard and that things could have been different. i am so glad that i was able to get to know you and be your friend, even if you thought my purple contacts were strange! haha, i love and miss you a lot. ~ jenn.
Jenn Sedillo
san jose, CA, -

I remember taking Colie & Tawny to Westgate, and having them take tons of funny shots in the photo booth. They were so cute, w/her little bob haircut--They were such silly, happy kids back then. My whole family is beautiful, and I was lucky to have spent anytime at all with Nicole. I can't say that I'm not heartbroken, and angry that she's gone--But I'm glad she is part of our humonguous family, and she has changed my life forever. Hold onto your loved ones, live your life to the fullest, and love people like it's your only chance to see them, because life is everchanging and fleeting. In dreams, thoughts, and wishes we remember you love Tash [another 1 of a gazillion cousins]
Tash
San Jose, -

An angel has passed through my life and has left an indelible mark so deep, yet it anchors me. The mark is love, the anchor is to my soul, and the angel is Nicole. I know Nicole, your probably laughing up there saying, "that's corny!, but that's okay Aunty - I still love you". Missing you will be forever, and everyone that you have touched is blessed by your presence. Your smile, warmth, unconditional love and acceptance in others is truly found only in Angels, and that is what brings me peace with your passing. Your parents, sister and niece will surely miss you and the love they have for you lies so deep, yet that will be their strength and their anchor. You were meant to be a part of everyone's lives and I am so blessed that you were a part of mine. My children truly miss you and I know you will be with them in their time of need. My soul has been enriched by you, I am so blessed. We love you, miss you, will always pray for you, and know that you will be there for us when it is our time to move on.
Lisa Quandt
San Jose, CA, -

To my dearest Colie, Hey girl I miss you soooooooo much! It has been so hard trying to find the way through life without ever hearing your beautiful voice again.I wish we could just have one last time to talk Colie. I am so sorry that I couldn't help you through your hard times like you did for me. Colie I will never forget how you helped me get through the hardest time of my life. You were the one true person that I always knew I could count on even if I needed a few bucks hahah. I know you know what I mean cause you will never let me live that one down. Girl I will never stop talkin to you and I know you will always be with me. I love you girl. Peace out.LoL Always, Ashley Reed bluebird
Ashley Reed
san jose, CA, -

Colie,Although your gone it feels like your still here but then yet your not. I know your in a better place now and you are probably really happy up there,Well thats what I think. I hope you know I pray for you every night and I just want you to know you will be in my heart and everyone elses. Love always and forever, Keila Shea Marciel(your cousin)
Keila Shea Marciel
San Jose, -

Colie, Although our hearts are breaking...you must know that Dad, Marisa, & I and Aunty's Girl, Kiele miss you so much. It all happened so quickly, your leaving us to be in a place obviously much more peaceful than here. As long as it takes... we will get through our grieving, knowing that ultimately this was your way to move on to the hereafter. We won't see you anymore in the physical...but know you will be with us everyday in the emotional and spiritual. It brings us peace knowing that we will meet you again someday. We have our memories of your angelic smile, your unconditional love to all of us. We have so many memories of our trips to Maui, Shasta on the houseboat, Seascape, family and friend get togethers, to name a few. We were the fortunate ones to have had the past 20 years with someone inside and out so truly beautiful and loving. You use to laugh at me with my morning meditations...well guess what? You can count on hearing from me every day. WE LOVE YOU COLIE ~ MOM & DAD
AngeMichalski
Campbell,CA, -

Nicolie- It’s been a few weeks since you left all of us, and I have to be honest, things aren’t getting much easier. There hasn’t been a day where you haven’t crossed my mind, and I have visited your memorial a few times.... But its just not the same. As the days go by, I still find myself waiting for the phone to ring in anticipation that it might be you – even though I know that it won’t be. When you would call me, just hearing your voice could make a bad day suddenly turn into something special. I remember when my friend Jake passed away, being in Hawaii made me feel so alone and isolated. Your phone calls, cards and emails are what would brighten my day and help raise my spirits. The fact that you were there for me in that instance, as you were in so many other ways, makes me feel guilty that I could not have been there for you. I wish more than anything that I could have helped ease some of your pain and put a smile on your face, the way you always did for me. Your friendship means more to me than you will ever really know, and I can honestly say that you were my closest friend. I thank God everyday for finally setting you free and for giving you the peace and love that you have always deserved. It’s going to be very difficult to deal with the fact that I will never see you again, but I know that you will always be with me. Thank you so much Nicole for opening up your life to me, and spreading some of your love and gentle spirit to myself and to my family. I will never forget you. Love Always – Rick Castello
Rick Castello
San Jose, CA, -